Trigger Happy

For example, people might be heard to say .. “Oh fuck no! They’re going to play a fucking Boyzone song! Lets get outta here quick and find another pub!”
We say: “Whoooa, steady there big fella! We are gonna play a ‘Triggered’ version! Stick around, man!”

We can ‘Trigger’ everything from Dropkick Murphys to Boyzone; Kaiser Chiefs to Tony Christie; Blur to Steppenwolf. Its not as bad as it sounds – honest!

Here are some quotes recently heard at Triggerhappy gigs by some prominent figures in the music industry, and some other people as well:

“I was walking along and this chair came flying past me, and another, and another, and I thought, man, is this gonna be a good night.” – Liam Gallagher – Hard Manc Geezer

“The whole show was staggering – you know... when you get Ryder, Bez and the guys on stage ‘twisting their melons’, you are gonna be in for a treat. Nice lads all of them… (sorry, who the fuck are Trigger Happy?)” – Terry Fuckwitt – Events manager, NEC

“WTF????………….” – Louie Walsh – Crap judge!

"To the extreme, Trigger Happy were the coolest thing in the country. If you were a young person at that age, maybe you don't go for Knowles’ gravelly style voice, but who he was and how different and bold his lyrics were, and his look… that was the closest thing the record business had to James Dean." – Art Garfunkel – Singer/Songwriter… apparently

"If there has been anything in the history of popular music which could be described as a work of art in a way that people who are involved in other areas of art would understand, then Trigger Happy is probably that work" – John Peel – Broadcasting Legend, BBC

“You have the X Factor...” – Simon Cowell – top bloke!

“I remember years ago sitting next to Keith Richards at 3.30am in a sleazy bar in Havanna I was explaining to him how TH was born all those years ago, and how, through sheer bloody-mindedness, and great respect for the ‘Stones’, we evolved into the successful band we are today; how we struggled along with a string of crap guitarists until we found James– May the Lord praise him (James that is, not Keith!),- and how we got our first complaint about the noise from a bloke across the road from the Twyford Social Club (Wanker!) Keith was trying to be really cool by pretending to go to sleep whilst I was talking to him. I went on to tell him how much the ‘Stones’ had influenced TH, and that without him (Keith that is, not James!) TH would probably not exist today, or if they did they’d be a crap band, and that I thought Paul McCartney is over-rated and shit! And how I would have loved to have played Ned Kelly’s character in a film, and loads and loads of other stuff…….. Keith was so impressed by what I had to say that he fell clean off his barstool! …. He’s so cool!” Mike Allison – Guitarist.

“Mike’s ice-cool guitar riffs and crunching power chords really turn me on! I saw the band in Twyford one night whilst Michael was away filming ‘Basic Instinct’. Fuck they’re sexy”…. – Catherine Zeta Jones – Actress and fit bird. Good with a sword!

“Get me Ozzy on the phone!” – Sharon Ozbourne – Ozzy’s Missus!

“These guys are just amaaaaaaaaaaaaayzin!” – Charlotte Church – Great singer and fit bird.

“Don’t be stupid Charlotte! They’re shite! C’mon lets go back to the hotel and watch some videos” – Gavin Henson – Welsh Rugby Ace.

“Yes, right, OoooKaaay, I think it’s not just the case that Trigger Happy are attempting to make a musical ‘statement’, or that they just enjoy buggering about with other artist’s songs to further their careers in the music business, but rather that they are basically trying to confront peoples attitudes to the conceptual nature of transgressional reality! Mmmmm, yes, that’s it” – Pertinax McPhsychofant – Art Student